Saturday, April 5, 2008
Balance
As intellectual as some people seem to think I am, this quote from Krishnamurti's Brockwood Park (9.11.71) talk resonates with me: "Intellectually we are imitative, intellectually we are not creative, intellectually we are second-hand, or third-hand; we repeat--repeat what others have said, our little thoughts. There we are not active, creative, alive, free; and emotionally we have no passion, we have no deep interests."
Although I took this a bit out of context from the actual speech, which is about freedom and pleasure (with this particular paragraph making the point that sex, the ultimate in worldly freedom, would not be such a big deal to us if we had more freedom in other areas of our lives), it not only makes sense in its context but standing by itself as well.
I have nothing against intellectualism. I love to learn, to think, to understand--I am curious, a sponge for various kinds of knowledge just because I like to know--just because I have insatiable hunches that I need to pursue.
But what is intellectualism stripped of passion? What is the headiness of cognition without soul? Where is the creativity, emotion, activity, relationship--where is the life? Are these not just as important as the knowledge? I believe in balance.
Although I took this a bit out of context from the actual speech, which is about freedom and pleasure (with this particular paragraph making the point that sex, the ultimate in worldly freedom, would not be such a big deal to us if we had more freedom in other areas of our lives), it not only makes sense in its context but standing by itself as well.
I have nothing against intellectualism. I love to learn, to think, to understand--I am curious, a sponge for various kinds of knowledge just because I like to know--just because I have insatiable hunches that I need to pursue.
But what is intellectualism stripped of passion? What is the headiness of cognition without soul? Where is the creativity, emotion, activity, relationship--where is the life? Are these not just as important as the knowledge? I believe in balance.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Chinese Father
I have a commuting companion that I (silently) call my Chinese father. I am guessing he is on the later side of middle age, and we take almost the same route to work and run into each other frequently. And we both work at the same place.
He asks me questions about my life, and expresses concern about the exact things a father would express concern about. Am I making enough money? Am I saving up to buy an apartment? How is school going? Can he take a look at my research book to see what I'm learning? I had a date one night (when SC and I first started dating), and he told me good luck, he hoped things would go well. He gave me software to help me with my research and tells me about studies that may help me in work and school. He says all of this in a very quiet, non-pressuring way.
When we run into each other on the train, he sits by me the whole way to work unless I end up talking to someone else I know. He tells me about his research at work in NYC and his teaching in China. (He's one of the top research managers where I work.)
All of this may seem odd, but there is something comforting about a kind stranger who has taken to me and has a completely different background (and demographic) than my own but who is in the limited capacity that I know him quite uniquely loyal and generous. I wonder if he thinks of me as a white, U.S. American daughter.
He asks me questions about my life, and expresses concern about the exact things a father would express concern about. Am I making enough money? Am I saving up to buy an apartment? How is school going? Can he take a look at my research book to see what I'm learning? I had a date one night (when SC and I first started dating), and he told me good luck, he hoped things would go well. He gave me software to help me with my research and tells me about studies that may help me in work and school. He says all of this in a very quiet, non-pressuring way.
When we run into each other on the train, he sits by me the whole way to work unless I end up talking to someone else I know. He tells me about his research at work in NYC and his teaching in China. (He's one of the top research managers where I work.)
All of this may seem odd, but there is something comforting about a kind stranger who has taken to me and has a completely different background (and demographic) than my own but who is in the limited capacity that I know him quite uniquely loyal and generous. I wonder if he thinks of me as a white, U.S. American daughter.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Languages
Oh, how I would love to be bilingual.
But there's no denying that I'm lousy at keeping myself focused on the process of learning a language. I find it terribly boring and tedious. Even though language is a strength of mine (as opposed to math), I have a really hard time finding the endurance to keep with it. There's so much to learn that it just seems so overwhelming, tiring and discouraging at the beginning. Maybe I should try that osmosis thing...
But there's no denying that I'm lousy at keeping myself focused on the process of learning a language. I find it terribly boring and tedious. Even though language is a strength of mine (as opposed to math), I have a really hard time finding the endurance to keep with it. There's so much to learn that it just seems so overwhelming, tiring and discouraging at the beginning. Maybe I should try that osmosis thing...
Going to Oz!
Heading to Australia 5/1-5/10! I'm very very excited, but even more nervous about the 20-hour flight. A friend of mine compared a long flight to childbirth: you're really excited about knowing you'll have a baby soon... but you actually have to have the baby first. ACK. She's totally right. That's exactly how I feel.
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